When you’re re-acting to a situation you’re not taking care of your own best interests. Reacting is a reflexive move that takes no thought. You cannot make healthy decisions if you’re not thinking! The more you slow down your reaction and turn it into an action, the better your life will be…for you and for those around you. You find yourself reacting in the moment and then regretting and paying for it later. You think that when someone screws up, you have the right to yell at them or loudly defend yourself after-all, it was their screw up right? “Calm down”, “You don’t need to get so upset”) Loved ones, friends, helpers etc., have tried to discuss or call you on your reactivity in some way (i.e. When someone does something you don’t like, you immediately get upset, flustered, or annoyed and respond in a split second to their behavior. Typically your response involves intensity and some type of anger. How to tell you are RE-acting rather than acting: The reality however, is that People who’re highly reactive get annoyed fairly easily and respond to this annoyance or anger with intensity and no thought. The repetitive thoughtless reaction creates significant problems in their relationships. Most people who are highly reactive blame their actions on the behavior of others and seldom think their reactivity is the problem. They often justify their intensity because of the stupidity, irresponsibility, or thoughtless behavior of those around them. They literally blame everyone but themselves. If you struggle with staying calm in times of upset, chances are you have a problem with reactivity. If you find yourself frequently yelling, complaining, getting triggered about big things, small things, and even things that don’t have to do with you…chances are you struggle with reactivity. If this continues, it’s likely to harm your health and your relationships. How to identify and handle this law in relationships. If someone snatches your man/woman, just let them keep him/her. Madness has and will never be an equal reaction to madness, this is where the opposite comes in. When someone angers you whether knowingly or unknowingly, do not anger him and their ancestors as retribution. If someone gives you 1million bucks, are you not supposed to give him one million bucks in return to make it even? It's only fair! Now, What is the measure of equality in humanity? Yet all you can do is pray for him, because he otherwise can not pray for himself, ABI? He's just a good samaritan doing his own bit for humanity. Someone gives you his last five hundred Naira (N500) because he believes you need it more than he does. But like we say- "his reward is in heaven," ba? If someone goes out of his way and route to give you a ride not minding the traffic they most likely would encounter on their way back to their earlier scheduled programme, do you think your "thanks you very much" accompanied with a huge smile and eyelashes batting is enough to compensate him for his N145 per litter of fuel and two (2) hours lost time? In a court of conscience, do you really think they'd ever be an equal reaction to any given action? You ignore their following twenty seven (27) phone calls and fourty one (41) messages, including handwritten letters sent across with an emissary to try to intervene on their behalf. Someone does not call you on the day you'd have loved them to. Maybe your birthday or just a Thursday like any other (action) Your response is to keep malice with them for two months because "how dare that small girl not greet me?! Oh, I am now her mate because of that small car she just bought? (reaction) He respects and most likely greets you everytime save for this one time (action) Someone, out of a slow morning, a morning rush or quite simply caught up with his daily quota of 3 minutes of stupidity forgets to greet you "good morning." Newton's 3rd law.Īs humans we should realise that often times our reaction far outweighs the action. For Every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.
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